The Day I Promised My Son I’d Never Look Back
How My Father’s Final Words Shaped My Journey to Resilience and Purpose
“Imagine being on your deathbed, and standing around you is the ghost of the dreams, the ideas, the abilities, and the talents given to you by life. That you, for whatever reason, never went after that dream. You never acted on those ideas. You never used those talents. You never used those gifts, and there they are standing beside your bed, looking at YOU with large, angry eyes saying, we came to you, and only you could have given us life! … And now…we must die with you forever.”
Les Brown
Introduction
I could never imagine that words said by Les Brown in his statement would be part of my daily life, and what Les Brown said was precisely what I experienced by the last moment of my dying father.
“I’m sorry, my son. I wish I had more courage to do the right things in my life and to make some of my dreams come true.”
The words were straightforward, yet they profoundly affected me.
Those words, uttered by my father just before he passed away, are the ones I carry with me every single day.
Me today, as a man in his fifties, a father, and a successful businessman with years of military service, experience, including 1800 consecutive days in war, I believed I had everything figured out. But those words changed everything for me.
They forced me to confront the one thing we often push aside: regret.
Regret, a powerful and painful feeling, is a burden we all carry in some form.
And for many of us, it comes from procrastination— the enemy of growth and the silent killer of dreams.
Today, when I reflected on my father’s words, I realized that my journey had been one of overcoming obstacles and failures, but also one of discovering resilience, courage, and the importance of doing the right thing in life—no matter how difficult or risky it may seem.
The weight of regret
Regret is an emotion that many of us try to avoid. We push it to the back of our minds, pretending it doesn’t exist or convincing ourselves that “it’s too late.”
But what happens when regret is all you have left?
When you’re faced with the realization that you didn’t act, didn’t take that leap, or didn’t have the courage to make the right decisions when you had the chance?
When my father spoke those words, it struck me deeply—not just as a son, but as a man who has lived a life of both success and failure.
Those words revealed the vulnerability of never fully embracing what could have been. I thought of all the times I’d delayed decisions, postponed dreams, and kept myself in my comfort zone.
How often had I told myself, “I’ll get to that tomorrow”?
How many moments had I missed by procrastinating, by avoiding the discomfort of acting?
As a successful businessman, I’ve learned that success is not just about making the right decisions.
It’s about making decisions, period.
Procrastination, the act of delaying action, often stems from fear. Fear can manifest as fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of potential negative outcomes. It’s a feeling we’re all familiar with.
The toll of procrastination on mental health
Procrastination doesn’t just hold us back from achieving our goals. It also weighs heavily on our mental health.
The constant cycle of avoidance leads to stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy.
As someone who’s navigated the pressure of high-stakes situations, whether in business, the military, or in life, I can tell you that carrying the weight of undone tasks or unaddressed fears is exhausting.
The longer we delay action, the more our mental health suffers.
In the military, we were taught to act quickly and decisively, even under pressure. We didn’t have the luxury of procrastination. When faced with a situation, we had to take immediate action, even if the path ahead was uncertain.
That experience shaped my view of procrastination.
While the stakes were often high, the mental clarity that comes with making a decision—any decision—was far more powerful than sitting idly and waiting for the “perfect moment.”
But in life, it’s simple to get caught up in the waiting trap.
We await the ideal moment, ideal circumstances, and the alignment of all the elements. I know…
However, the reality is that we rarely find the perfect moment. Waiting for everything to be “just right” can leave us stuck in an endless loop of indecision.
And that, in turn, can damage our mental health, leading to a constant state of dissatisfaction and frustration.
Turning failure into resilience
Lately, the term “resilience” is everywhere. But,
The key to breaking free from the cycle of procrastination and regret is resilience.
Resilience doesn’t come from avoiding failure; it comes from embracing it. I’ve faced my fair share of failures, and I’ve learned that failure is not the opposite of success. It’s a stepping stone to success.
As a father, I want my son to understand that failure isn’t something to fear. It’s something to learn from. Failure teaches us what doesn’t work and pushes us to find better ways forward. It’s a lesson I learned in the military and war, where mistakes were often the fastest path to growth.
In business, the same principle holds true. The road to success is rarely straight; it’s a winding journey full of setbacks.
But the key to success isn’t avoiding failure. It’s learning to rise stronger each time we fall.
When I think of my father’s words, I realize that his greatest regret wasn’t the failures themselves, but the fact that he didn’t give himself permission to even try.
And in that, I see the core of resilience.
They possess the willingness to move forward despite setbacks, the courage to try again after falling short, and the strength to never give up on what matters most.
The desire to pass on my lessons to my son
As a father, my deepest desire is to pass on the lessons I’ve learned from my experiences, both the triumphs and the failures, to my son.
Perhaps now that I think about it, I’ve made many mistakes in my life and wanted to quit, but all it takes is one look at him to motivate me to keep going.
I want him to know that success is not defined by never making mistakes but by the ability to rise each time life knocks him down.
I want him to embrace failure as a natural part of growth, to understand that the real failure is not trying at all.
There is one lesson I want to share with him above all others:
The importance of acting with courage is paramount.
Whether in business, relationships, or personal pursuits, courage is the key to overcoming procrastination, fear, and regret.
It’s the courage to make decisions, even when the outcome is uncertain. It’s the courage to take risks, even when failure is a possibility.
And most importantly, it’s the courage to do what’s right, even when it’s hard.
I now realize that our actions shape our lives, not our possessions.
Success is not about accumulating wealth or titles; it’s about living with purpose, integrity, and the courage to face challenges head-on.
And while I may not be able to change my father’s past, I can use his words as a guide to live more intentionally and to teach my son the value of acting with purpose.
The path forward
As I continue my journey, I am reminded daily of the power of resilience, the ability to bounce back from failure and continue moving forward.
Success is not a destination.
It’s a journey that requires mental clarity, emotional balance, and the courage to make decisions in the face of uncertainty.
If I could offer one piece of advice to anyone reading this, it would be this:
Don’t wait for the perfect moment.
Don’t let procrastination hold you back.
Don’t let fear of failure stop you from living the life you were meant to lead.
The right time is now.
The right action is now.
And the courage to change is within you.
In the end, the greatest gift we can give to those we love and to ourselves is the courage to live a life without regret, to act with purpose, and to embrace failure as a stepping stone on the path to success.
This is the lesson I want to teach my son and anyone who will listen.
And believe me, my son is much stronger and better than me.